Saturday 27 June 2015

Change

Change can occur at any time in a person's life and sometimes its easy and sometimes it's difficult to deal with. Everyone has had that one thing that they just don't want to change and it could be something as simple as they don't want to have to use a new password on their blog because they forgot their old one... that is definitely not a personal example. Okay, maybe it is. Or it could be something major like the death of a loved one and the change which results in such a tragic occurrence. The change i'm more accustomed with is more of a transitional change. Where nothing really does change accept the way you're feeling and the environment you're surrounded with.
Recently, i went on holiday with my friends from school. The people i went with mean a lot to me, we've been through all sorts of stuff both individually and as a group and we've done it together. Which, means that we have quite a strong bond, something many others don't have. My mother always tells me that a person may have a hundred friends but not one loyal to them, yet another may have only three and them all loyal. I look at my close knit and small friend circle to be like that, at least i hope it's like that. The reason i'm bringing this up is because of why we went on holiday together. As i mentioned in my last post; I'm back, i finished exams and furthermore finished school. Our holiday was an attempt to create new and better memories for when we're no longer together again, and i promise you i will definitely remember the past three days with the six greatest people in my life. From the entry of our little temporary home, which seriously at one point everyone called it home, when we saw the sign welcoming us, to the final night where i saw a lot more of my friends than i ever expected, and finally the last goodbye. It's not going to be the last goodbye obviously, we'll all see each other at least two times more before we all depart for university, but it's different somehow. That's the last time we'll be together for a long amount of time, presumably. I mean next year we might do it all again, stay in the same cabin, sleep in the same beds and laugh at the same jokes and funny faces. Take pictures in the exact same positions and see how much we've all changed in just one year, or maybe we'll forget about it. Maybe it will become a distant memory that will only come forward in our minds when we're scrolling through old photographs and see it. The picture of us all under the welcome sign smiling like we've won the lottery, the picture of us all in the cafe that sold the dream catchers and nobody liked the schmoo chocolate milkshakes, the picture of us all sat around the dining room style table bottles of vodka and cider surrounding us but we don't care that we all look tired and some of us look drunk because it's our holiday and we spent it the way we wanted to.
I wanted to write about change, because it's a big part of life, and it's something we have to learn to accept. I'm going to have to accept that i'm never going to be with my friends in the way i have been for 5+ years. I'm going to have to accept that, that chapter of my life is over now and i have to move forward because although it won't be the same i'll always have the memories of it. Every time i look at my prefect badge or my old school blazer badge, i'll remember the countless lunch times i spent joking around and making a fool of myself. The multiple accidental insults and the countless intentional insults. They'll always be there just not present.
Perhaps after everything we should just remember the famous quote by Eleanor Roosevelt; Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, and Today is a gift; that's why they call it the present. Because after all if it wasn't for the present there would be no past, no memories and nothing to change.
Thank you all very much for reading.

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Friday 19 June 2015

I'm back!!!!!

I took quite a long hiatus from here, in order to focus on my studies but exams are over and i'm back.
So i thought, first of all i'd bring everyone up to speed on what has been happening in my life since the last time i wrote a post.
So to start of with i finally finished my exams. I am now completely done with obligatory education. It was actually weird when i said bye to the sixth form receptionist, like i felt as though i should say goodbye to the school at the same time. It's funny how we think about things, i spent seven years waiting to get out of that place and now, literally a day after I've left i want back in and to start all over again. I wouldn't change a thing about the time I've spent there though, i have a group of amazing friends who are so brave and so amazing that i don't regret the bad decision i'd made before i met them. That alongside the fact that i'm so much more in the know on things now than if i would've been if i hadn't made the bad decisions or befriended the wrong people, means that i don't have to look back and think about the things that happened in a negative light. As my A-Level English class would understand and probably lynch me for, i can now look back and think nostalgically on the time i spent in not only the sixth form but also the lower school.
Another thing that happened since i last made any form of a post is I went to see Mrs Brown's Boys Live, which honestly was horrendous. It wasn't the performance of the cast that was terrible, because they were amazing and hats of to them all they put on a great performance and my mother (who we went for because it was her 50th birthday present, Happy early Birthday Mam!) but it was more the people whom surrounded me. I have never in my life been surrounded by such an awkward and if i may say so slightly obnoxious crowd. One guy was talking the entire time, which would annoy me anyway, but he was so loud and he was sat right behind me. Another older gentlemen, if i can call him that, was laughing so loud at times you couldn't hear the performance which was taking place just a few feet away. That alongside the fact that he was saying every second line after the actor as if it was the best thing in his life. I mean i'm all for enjoying yourself, that;s the whole point of a live performance but there's enjoyment and then there's faking it and this guy, he was for sure faking it. So then the third thing which made this one of the worst nights of my life, i mean i'd have rather been watching eastenders and i don't even like eastenders, is my mam's incessant coughing. Okay, i admit it this is probably the bitchiest thing ever to say but it was sooooo annoying. My mother, like most woman reaching 50 is going through that time in her life when things 'change' and so she keeps on getting these hot flushes which activate this sense that seems to scream 'COUGH LIKE YOU'VE NEVER COUGHED BEFORE' therefore i missed quite a lot of what the actors where saying and quite a few of the jokes because she was coughing in my ear. So there i was already annoyed to hell with this live performance when oh look there, late comers. Where o where do you think the late comers were sat? if you guessed beside my brother who was on the other side of my mam you'd be right. Meaning... we all had to stand up to let these ignoramuses through. So once i'd gotten into a comfy position i had to stand and allow the people who'd rocked up almost 45 minutes late in. Then to top the whole night off, the people who were sat beside me, didn't even show the fact they were enjoying the gig. The spent the whole night hands on laps and straight faced. They could have at least clapped when the rest of the audience did. If you don't like what you're going to see don't go.
On the plus side, i did get to do something i'd enjoy whilst i was away. I got to see my brother band practice again. A couple months ago, i went to see them practice as well as take some photographs for my media studies coursework, i.e. i pretty much had a hidden agenda. But this time it was purely to watch them rock out and rock out they did. Like, seriously they were amazing, the fact that after there own break (lack of funding purposes) and when they returned they sounded as if they'd been practicing together for years. On this trip, we went adventuring. Which, as people who have been on this blog before and/or know me in real life will know i'm not really one for going out on an adventure, but I think that may have changed after that day. We went into this secluded woodland area and it was so beautiful, the sun was beating down on the five of us and the greenery was so pretty. I didn't want to leave. We found this quite large pond and it was actually clear, like there was no murkiness to the water, which is unusual in the UK, especially Durham. There was shade to the area because of the tall trees which meant we weren't too hot. It was literally such a beautiful place. I climbed a couple trees, which i'd never done before and will probably never do again as when i was about two thirds the way up, i realised i don't like heights. So that was cool. But it was such a beautiful area that i'd never seen before and i was surprised it was so nice.
The Fourth thing i wanted to tell everyone about is that *drum-roll* I GOT A JOB!!! After a total of three years of looking for a job i finally found one. Paying £6.50 an hour and at least 8 hours a week, so i'm really happy about it. Not only that but i'll be working alongside one of my friends, Natalie. Which means that i'll never be alone or not have company of sorts and my boss, Amy is so nice and friendly so i'm happy and can't wait to start tomorrow for future references that is the 20th June 2015.
So since the last time i wrote a post, i decided to keep a 'memories jar' where i place a small piece of paper with a memory and the date written on it, fold it into quarters and place it into this jar. So for example, i wrote 'Last A-level exam 18.06.15' on one. So far I've put 22 inside the jar and there are many more to come.
Another thing which is awesome is that a friend of mine from a while back, whom left for Australia back in 2009 (ish), is returning to the UK. So on the Friday of her return we're all meeting up with her, and i can't wait for it.
A third thing is after many years of trying to have a social life of sorts I've finally made it (sort of) my brothers friend and band mate have invited me and a friend to a house warming party. Which is Mexican themed and i'll get a sombrero on entry, which is so cool.
My ever expanding love of music has also recently struck in the form of two new musical artists. Both of which are american, one is a solo artist and one of them is a band. Halsey, also known as Ashley Frangipane and Against the Current, made up of Chrissy Constanza, Dan Gow and Will Ferri. The two acts are from completely different genres, Halsey being more indie and ATC being more pop rock. But the point is their music is amazing and i suggest people go and check them out, especially if you're into bands like the 1975 or the Neighbourhood, In the case of Halsey and 5 Seconds of Summer, All Time Low and We Are The In Crowd in the case of Against the Current.
Recently, my friends and I decided we'd like to go on holiday together, as a sort of last goodbye you could argue. We decided on a date, a place and everything we're going to do when we're there. I'm kind of sad that we've done it all, not because i don't want to spend time with all my friends but that's it means it's real. I've never really been one for goodbyes and this means that we will have to say goodbye and that there's a chance we won't see each other again, not the way we would normally. It frightens me that there's a possibility none of our friendships will ever be the same again. Using my brother as an example, when he went away to university him and his friends all had the intentions of staying in touch and being close like they always had been, but after a short while they stopped talking the way they had. The fact that it could happen to me and the people I've spent pretty much 5 days a week with for the past six years.
Putting aside the soppiness that just happened, i'm glad to return to blogging and i hope that you'll all enjoy my future posts.
Thank you all very much for reading.

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